Submitted 01 Sep 2006
I am glad to see that you are clear about what you want. To get rid of these feelings. With me it was a little different. I had an attraction for younger boys as far back as I can remember. Not just sexual, but a comfort with them that I didn't find with guys my own age. It never occurred to me to not have the feelings.
Kids my own age had cause, however stupid and cruel, for not treating me well. It's not that I didn't want to be accepted by agemates. Early on I found that little kids accepted me, appreciated the time and effort I spent on them. So getting rid of the feelings about them wasn't a choice for me.
The primary reason, I believe, for being attracted to little kids (for guys our age) ties in to a difficulty relating to agemates. Whatever the reason. So my first suggestion, if you can, is to work on whatever is keeping you from relating easily to folks your own age. Not easy, and I don't mean go along with the teen culture necessarily. But I feel pretty sure that as your dealings with agemates becomes easier and more rewarding, your feelings for little kids will drop by the wayside.
Common problems are self-image/depression, difficulties interacting with people, and unrealistic ideas as to what it takes to be a friend (personality flaws). Whatever you have to do to develop friendships with people 15+, it's worth working on. If your goal is to live a more normal life, then it's absolutely necessary. Even if it doesn't seem right. Fake it for awhile, and you will find it may feel more natural than you imagine.
The other side is to realize that little kids ARE very attractive. The human species is made that way. The current political climate is something new and recent. It has not always been true that being attracted to younger kids, and molesting them, are thought to be the same thing. It has not always been true that a person like you cannot find medical help or conselling (professionals are required now by law to report your feelings to the government). It has not always been true that touching a little kid is as serious a crime as murder and society would just as rather see you dead.
I say these things not because our society will come back from this paranoia any time soon, but to make sure that YOU don't consider yourself immoral and disgusting. Do you honestly think that most men don't find a 13-year-old girl "attractive" at some level? Do you honestly think that a little willing sex-play is going to ruin a child's life? No, it's not politically correct to even question the "psychology/abuse industry" about what is normal (and what makes them their money). Yet this is the world we live in. And we must control our actions in all facets of life. But don't feel bad about having these feelings. They are a LOT more common than you realize.
Force yourself to interact more with agemates. If it helps, don't spend much time with children. Educate yourself about what other people go through. And most important, don't feel that you are immoral or disgusting.
Submitted 15 Oct 2006
OK, I know exactly how you feel, I hate these thoughts sooo much. And I was wondering how to make them go away, and they never have. I think it's impossible to make them go away. It's like trying to turn a heterosexual gay, unless he already is. You can't. Attraction to younger boys isn't illegal, you can do plenty of non-sexual acts that can be satisifying to you and not be explict (for example shoulder rub, fingers through hair, etc). There is nothing wrong with having a younger friend, there are a lot of kids without sibilings who are desperate for an "older brother", and there are also a lot of kids who think that if they have an older friend, then they're more mature. There is NOTHING wrong with having a "little brother" or a younger friend, as long as you don't do anything you will