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Submitted 10 August 2007

Thanks for reading my email. I'll be honest, I'm very much afraid that the site is not for real. I'm curious - you know? I've *always* been curious. BUT -- I'm married, good job, pension. So, how do I learn more without getting caught. I mean, I don't want to do anything. I would never. But, I feel like sometimes I'm going crazy. I just want to be able to talk about my feelings (not face to face!) with other people. I don't know who to trust. I don't know anyone else who feels like I do. I mean, I know I'm not doing anything illegal -- it's just curiosity. Any advice would be very much welcomed.


Our answers
Submitted 8 Aug 09

Sorry for the terrible delay, but the question is still valid. As far as a website is concerned, your only real control is in what you divulge about yourself in your typed communications with the site. You can also disable cookies in your browser, so that the site can't retrieve any information about what other sites you have visited and similar information. We don't use cookies at all, but a site might do that. Advertisers often keep a list of where you go and even what information you enter at other sites. Disabling cookies in your browser will prevent a site from retrieving such information. It may also limit the usefulness of the site you are visiting, as some of their "features" may no longer work right.

My personal feeling is "don't trust anyone" that you meet online. Always limit what you tell people. Even if you find a great friend that is completely stable and trustworthy, his computer might be subject to confiscation because of a small innocent local matter. His email may be monitored. Small local authorities and courts can arrrange to monitor what he does. There is no good way to find online friends to talk to, regardless of how innocent and appropriate your need for discussion may be. I think that is part of society's plan against us. Make sure it's unsafe for us to seek support or experience personal growth. They just want us to die and go away.

The only safe approach would be online research (be careful about how legitimate the websites appear and what kind of information you are viewing). Using https:// will prevent online eavesdropping. You can activate this security feature by starting here and making sure that the web address includes the "S" in https://

When you submit a question or comment to a website (or send someone an email) they will know your IP number, and that easily translates into the name and location of the internet company (ISP) where you are connecting to the internet. This is often your town or a nearby big city. There is also the number of the connection that you are connected to, so that a court can order the ISP to release the name of the account using that connection at that hour. Some ISPs don't require a court order, in an effort to appear "family friendly".

So, aside from using anonymous email and anonymous surfing (we have plenty of information here about these techniques), it's a matter of carefully controlling what you say to people, and websites, online. It is my belief that the more stories there are on this site, the more I tell you about myself and the people I have known, the more likely I am to provide answers without you even asking questions. And of course the more legitimate medical/scientific/legal presentations we can offer, or link to, the better.

Cody (20)

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