Submitted 12 Dec 2005
hi i dont have an idea to post my name. And there's no
reason to submit a wrong one. so i just call myself me.
im 19 years old. So far i have been doing my studies
fine. and i'll be doing higher studies next year.
But i don't know if i would be able continue just as fine.
i'm very confused and troubled at the moment.
from when i was 14 i liked youger boys (10-13). And i also liked girls of my age. i didn't think that it wasn't normal,
cause i also had sexual feelings towards girls as well, and cause i knew that my most of my friends also had some
feelings towards little boys. Of course their primary sex
attraction wasn't little guys and i don't think most of them
would have sex with a little one just because they have feelings.
But recently after i found all this boylove
stuff i'm confused. i don't know if i'm a boylover or a guy
with normal sexual attractions. i spend my day surfing da net. i try to look at pretty girls and say to myself 'oh so sexy'. But i don't know if i'm cheating myself. im just confused.
Well i don't know what's the reason for my feelings. i wasn't
abused when i was young. that's just absurd. and i don't think it can be cured.
it didn't all began with sex. first
when i was like 14 there was a beatiful boy around 11 yo. i hoped that i could have him as my little brother. i dreamed
about taking care of him, giving him advice all the stuff u know. i don't know how or when it happened but with time i had some sexual attractions to little boys including that one. but it didn't bother me, until now. i don't know if this boylove stuff did any good to me, as it has done to others.
i don't know if i want to marry anymore. maybe i would continue my life like this looking at cute little guys. but one thing's sure i can't hurt a little guy, and that makes me happy. i know i'm not bad. i guess that's it. i haven't told all this to anybody until now.