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Submitted 31 Mar 2007

How do I help myself by improving my self control? The moment I am able to be with a young boy, I simply dont trust myself. I'm suffering from it already from the damage I have already caused to my close friends, what do I do?

Jonty (23)

Our answers
Submitted 18 Apr 2007

My first reaction is that it's ALL about self-control, as are most things in life. By saying this, I mean that I am a pedophile. I accept that, and I don't hate myself. I am a gay teen, and I have an attraction toward guys younger than me. So I qualify for the "P" word. I believe that a lot of the world does, to some extent. The old concept of "jailbait". Across cultures, down through history. In today's society, unfortunately, it is most usually a harmful thing. If a kid isn't hurt by a predator, he most certainly will be hurt by society trying to fix it.

I also have an attraction to money. So I have to fight the urge to run out of a bank with bags of $100 bills. So far I have been successful controlling myself on that front :-) It being illegal helps.

But the attraction itself does not make you a monster. It's not something I choose, or they say not something that I can turn off. I hate that there are some fools in power that feel it is proper to incarcerate anyone who MIGHT commit a crime in the future due to such an attraction.

If you have trouble controlling your actions, then you may well end up in jail long before you get into any inappropraite sexual situations. In so many cases, it's about self-image, self-hatred, lack of self-control, just basic life skills, and has less to do with younger guys. You are wise to avoid them if you feel it's necessary. It's even better to work toward a point where you can enjoy them (from the belt up) and they can enjoy you.

In other words, I would suggest that the main problem with self-control is self-image, not anything sexual.

Cody (17)

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