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PETE ASKS...
I would like to discuss further why Im so attracted to (LBs). I have been for a long time. I'm scared. How do you guys cope with it and stay out of trouble. I have never had plans nor do I have plans to have relations with a (LB) its just a far out fantasy.

- Pete

Our answers
Submitted 11 Nov 2003

I have the same problem and I really can't cope with.There is no a day past that I didn't think suiside least once.

The only I do is to have some (legal) pics,on my computer to a safe folder so noone will find about them.When I'm out I have a great problem especially at school.There are so many boys and I can't help looking at them.

I'm sure I would kill myself if somebody finds out.

Cordenas, 17

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Submitted 13 Sep 2003

Well for me??......... No one 'knows'. Except God. He helps me! If my thinking habit is getting out of hand, I ask myself what is it that I have done to allow these thoughts to happen. (It is normally what I have seen.) So I remove myself from that thinking. I don't normally get 'bad' thoughts around yonger people, but if I do, I move away from that 'area' and have a break to remove those thoughts - to clear my head.

Be Safe!!

Master20, 20

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Submitted 13 Sep 2003

A BL's life is not an easy one given the current hysteria and threat of long jail sentences. For those who do not know it, the present atmosphere is radically different from how the culture and society dealt with "molestation" in the 60's and 70's. In these decades, most responsible and educated people advised not making it a police matter; if it became a police matter, the penalties were minimal.

Today, the most tolerant people in the world are the Thais. Living there is like going back 50 years in time. Their attitude toward sexuality is so relaxed and mentally healthy it makes one ashamed of our culture.

Also, older people are respected rather than reviled. Likewise, being fat doesn't have the stigma it does in the West. The Men of Thailand is an ideal book for learning about Thai culture.

The longer one lives outside the US, the more you realize how mentally unhealthy the society is. So, best wishes.

Michael, 60

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Submitted 11 Sep 2003

Just like Mathias, I help them and got on their level. After awhile they realise that this old man means them no harm and you are accepted. Treat them as equal ask them to help you with something you donít understand and they will appreciate it. As for fantasies, thatís for you alone in the privacy of you own world.

Joe_uk, 54

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Submitted 11 Sep 2003

Hi Pete

I like Mathias' answer. Coping with your feelings when you can't talk to anyone about them can be overwhelmingly difficult. One of the best things I did was to join the BB/LB program. Although you might think that putting so much temptation within reach might be dangerous, I found (much the same as Mathias suggested) that I was so busy having a great time that the problems just didn't present themselves.

Society doesn't really give BL'ers any chance to realize a sexual relationship without putting both parties at risk of psychological damage and worse. I usually find that, even if I have a strong sexual attraction to a boy, once I get to know them well I get a huge satisfaction from just being with them and seeing them enjoy themselves or helping them with problems, etc. The sexual attraction is always there but it gets put into perspective with other activities.

I found this VERY difficult when I was younger and didn't have the confidence to volunteer for things like the BB/BL program. Cutting myself off from contact with boys just made the whole issue assume huge proportions in my head.

Philip, 48
tassie@safe-mail.net

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Submitted 11 Sep 2003

I'm goin' to sound a little brutal here, I don't mean to hurt, just be honest. I can't say definatively how to control your feelings as I don't know you personally. However, the ONLY absolutely safe way to "control" them (don't act them out in overt sexual activity) is to avoid the temptation. I'm sure that's not the answer you want to hear, but, and from experience, it really is the only thing to do. Sexual attraction is incredibly strong and always difficult to control. Indeed, it is so difficult to control that the Church and the State have always zeroed in on sexual activity as the most grevious of sins/cimes. If I'm a clergyman or a politician, I'm interested in control. This is the one thing that is beyond most people's control, therefore it is the thing most in need of condemnation, and containment. Fear and shame have been the media used for 2000 years. And it's worse now than EVER. Careers and fortunes are made on people's affection, even innocence.

I wish you luck. There is nothing worse nor more painful than love which is unrequited, or forbidden. It is the stuff of great drama, and much hearache.

Siegie, 30

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Submitted 6 Sep 2003

I'm like a big brother to them. Help them with stuff, play games with them, and they know I care about them a lot. At home I sometime have fantasies, but when I'm around them, I don't have any time to think about those fantasies, I just enjoy my time with them to much :)

MaThiAs, 16

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