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Would it be wrong for a boy and someone my age to masturbate together, even if they donít touch each other? If the older guy wanted to touch the boy, would that make a difference?

- Joey, 23

Our answers
Submitted 24 Jun 2004

No it's not wrong if the boy initiates it. It however it is illegal in most countries, depending on his exact age. Technically one could say touching a boy whom is masturbating is not the same as performing a sexual act whit a minor, the boy is performing a sexual act to him self and you would just be touching a minor, but still in most countries it will be a problem.

I masturbated as a 9y old or so together whit a 16y (AoC in my country) old boy. I didn't felt it was wrong then or now, I enjoyed it very much. I even wanted to touch his penis and I did, I jacked him till he came and I loved it . But still it was officially illegal!!!

Jack (34)


Submitted 16 Oct 2003


In and of itself, not in the slightest?

"Even if...?"

There is no 'even if.' Questions of 'right' and 'wrong' are about the heart's happiness of the parties involved, not utterly rediculous 'as-seen-on-tv' bullshit.

'What if...?'

WANTING inherently CANNOT be 'wrong' - desires themselves have no effect. Doing can only be wrong if against the desires of a party involved.

Now, as to more directly-applicable issues...

"Is it legal if...?"


"Even if...?"


"What if...?"

Some states, that in itself is against the law (CA, US.)

Now, here's a counterquestion -

In an age in which a fifth of the populace is slated for concentration and liquidation from birth, is it wrong to expend one's efficiency in a moment's pleasure, when the children of tomorrow will suffer because you did not stand up and fight injustice?

...I'll leave this for you to decide.

John, 20s


Submitted 12 Sep 2003

Hello Joey:

Would it be wrong? Yes. The reason for this is because of the interactions that you and this boy have taken part in - this is true even if the other has agreed to be involved in this action. The reason behind this is because we are unable to see into the future Ė in short because of that we are unable to say what affect this type of action would take on another person.

It may have been okay way back when... you know when you were his age. But NO this interaction is not okay.

So to end this post, no way is it okay for you and this boy to have any type of sexual relations with each other. Remember that this is also sexual relations under the law.

On this masturbation issue it depends - I am a Christian so my view is from that end of the scale. It is okay for this to happen, it is an action that humans take to release sexual tension. It is not okay to lust after that special person nor to entertain those thinking habits.

PS I do not live in the USA, so when I say illegal I mean in my country. Also if it is not illegal it should be! cos it is immoral.

Master20, 20


Hi Joey,

I'll wait to see what others say about the morality of the masturbation itself.

I do think it's important to consider the legal issue, which is relevant to its morality. I'm not a legal expert, but I'm pretty sure that in most states of the U.S. at least, masturbation with each other would be illegal. I think it would be called "indecent acts with a minor" or something like that, and the adult could be classified as a sex offender. If it were to be found out, the boy could be traumatized by the involvement of the law, the belief that he has done something evil, and his required separation from the man. So it would seem wrong to allow the boy to be put in such a potential situation.

I wish you the best as you seek fulfilling and safe ways to interact with boys.

Matthew, 40



If we looked at the situation in terms of "ceterus peribus" (as in economics, where all other things are ignored), do I believe that masturbating together is wrong, absolutely not, it's a beautiful part of love. HOWEVER, and that is a big however, we don't live in a world of "ceterus peribus". There are families involved who might find out, there are legal systems that regulate your actions. While the act in itself I believe is beautiful and loving, the reactions of other people who might potentially find out can be extremely harmful to the boy as well as the man. Take a look at your local sexual offender registry, if you live in the US, and maybe that will remind you why we need to find other ways to share our love with boys. I know it's not the answer you wanted, but it's reality unfortunately.

Howie, 21

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