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JAMES ASKS...
I am lucky enough to work with kids on the weekends, and its great, but I feel like many people on this site, I am attracted to the young boys, and I have a hard time not thinking about them, in fact I think about them every day, I can't wait for the weekend so I can see them again. I have good relationships with these boys and consider them my friends, I would never hurt them, I just want to spend time with them and have fun.

This may be an unhealthy obsession, thinking about them every day of every week, does anyone know what I could do to stop thinking about my friends so much?

- James
mushj@excite.com

Our answers
11 Sep 2003

Why do you think its an unhealthy obsession? You love them they love you being with them gives you pleasure and also them. Just because society has its head stuck in the sand and cant tell true BoyLove from paedophilia is not your problem.

Joe_uk, 54

______________________________

Hiya james,

Your thoughts are no more an unhealthy obsession, than that of a heterosexual male. Most straight guys think about girls all the time and I have yet to hear one question whether his thoughts are unhealthy or obsessive.

It's part of understanding that just like heterosexual males, you too have desires and attractions and love interests and you experience them the same way that these heterosexual males do. Just because the object of your affection is a boy doesn't mean that you experience your attraction any differently.

The only harmful aspect is letting your thoughts and feelings prohibit you from having a full and happy life. If you sulk and lament over not being able to fulfill them. If you lock yourself in your room and just involve yourself with your thoughts of boys while losing interest in everything else you enjoy in life, that can be harmful to your wellbeing. I'VE BEEN THERE.

Enjoy your thoughts about boys, it's the safest way to express your love for them.

Howie, 21
howie@agetaboo.org

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