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MATTHEW ASKS...
Submitted 26 Feb 2011

I'm in my late twenties and I'm actually attracted to young girls, so I hope it's ok for me to post a message here.

I'm having a lot of trouble discussing my attractions with my parents. My mom in particular feels really stressed about it. She can't seem to disassociate attraction to children from child abuse, and seems to feel that people who have been sexually abused as children have the right to be angry at anyone who finds children attractive.

Whenever I tell my parents about sites for people like me to offer each other support, they always ask "Why aren't there sites for the loved ones of pedophiles who find it difficult knowing this about their child?"

Age Taboo is the only one I've seen that has a section called "For Parents" but it still doesn't seem to address the issues I'm having with mine. All the stuff here talks about how parents can help their child in coping with their attractions, but in my case I'm the one that needs to help MY loved ones cope with THEIR feelings about my attractions because it is apparently so difficult for THEM.

They're terrified of other people finding out and talk about how people would stop being friends with THEM. They are basically forbidding me from telling anyone else. I know they can't make me not tell anyone else, but I don't want them to lose any friends, so I'm going to keep quiet about it, but it's frustrating because sometimes I feel like I want to be more open about this with people.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this, even though I like young girls and not boys. Does anyone else here have this much difficulty with their parents knowing. Does anyone have a parent that feels the same way mine do about these issues that could maybe even write something to mine so they can help each other out and know that they are not alone?

If no one can help, I'd understand that too. But I thought I'd give this a try. Thanks.

Matthew (20s)
email on request

Our answers
Submitted 12 May 2011

Matthew: In your 20's, your relationships are your relationships. From someone that has been around a while, set your own course in life and be happy. You don't identify what "young" is but know the laws that affect you and take very close care not to overstep legal bounds... unless that's what you are talking about. You also leave an open question about you being abused. IF this is correct it might be worth professional assistance. Yes, being abused as a youngster can affect your moral compass.

Drakar (60)

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