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DONALD ASKS...
Submitted 3 Jan 2005

Hi, it looks like it's been a while since anyone has added anything. But I'll take my chances. I am 19. I found myself attracted to young boys. Well let me take a different approach. I realized that I was attracted to lets say the "sexuality" of young children when I was 15. When I say children I mean both boys and girls. Which brings me to my dilemma. All of you say that "boylove" isn't really wrong. Or rather thats what I hear, but none the less. Well what about girls? Don't get me wrong I do like boys as well. But I also find that for some reason I dont find myself attracted to girls over 15. With boys its a little different. It ranges from pre-puberty to early adolescence. I used to try and figure out what might have caused me to be this way. And in one self analysis I discovered. That I was still very immature. I tried to tell myself that it makes sense for me to be attracted to an eleven year old boy or girl. Because in my head somewhere there was something telling me that I was still 12. I don't think that anymore. I was at church this morning. And I guess you might say I have fallen in love with a boy. I can't stop thinking about him. But I would say he is about 12. I dont know what to think about this. And yes. This is my way of sort of reaching out. I am just looking for some one to talk to. Someone like me. Who I can actually relate to.

Donald (19)

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Submitted 5 Jan 2005

I dont really know what to say. I am 19 and I have a problem. The problem isn't that I am attracted to younger people. It's that I am and cant have a sucessful relationship. I have been in a couple. And they were all with someone that was at least 2 or 3 years younger than I am. That lasted a while. Then something happened and it ended. You know normal things that normally affect a relationship. I can't have a successful relationship because it's illegal. And most 10 year olds aren't that mature. Now I guess you see my dilemma. Its mostly girls. But I don't find anything in a girl my age or that's been through puberty for that matter. I will end it here and ask what I should do. I feel so lost and helpless. I have even spent thousands of dollars on therapy. And none of it seems to help.

Donald (19)

Our answers

Submitted 2 Jun 2005

I think we all have these sort of feeling towards someone. You just have to live it and surround yourself with that person as much as you can and have fun. Its always their parents who think its wierd!! :(

Rony (18)

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Submitted 16 Jul 05

Hi Donald,

Being attracted to younger people can be very complicated in society today, as no doubt everyone here will agree. Being in a relationship with a younger person, be it a boy or girl, is not like a relationship with someone your own age, or older. Children have a different perspective on things, and may not see it as a relationship, but more as having an older special friend who they can trust, and depend upon. Generally, from my experience, if you treat them as real people, and show them the respect and caring you would give to anyone else who is close to you, you'll have a fruitful relationship with the younger person.

Also, sometimes it seems that no matter how hard we try to find, and have meaningful relationships with people, some just don't work out, and we have to expect it, and accept it. If you just be yourself around younger people, and honestly show interest in what they're doing, you are quite likely to kick off a friendship without even trying. What goes beyond that is a case by case situation.

Anyway, if you are trying too hard to form a relationship, try taking a break for a while, and take a walk along a beach, or do some hiking, or something to clear your mind, and think about things, and just let things run their course for a while. For who knows, maybe you may meet someone when you least expect it.

Best of luck.
Daniel (28)

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