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LOST ASKS...
Submitted 28 Jan 2005

There's something wrong with me, and I mean really really wrong with me. I like kids sexually and its scaring the hell out of me, I myself am only 15, almost 16 and I have been having this obsession since I was 13 or 14. I thought it would go away over time but it hasn't now I'm really starting to think that I might.. I don't know, do something. There's one in particular whom I feel the most attraction to, he's a family friend I guess you could call him and he's about 7. I always knew I liked him a little more than I should, but I would never dream of hurting him, but now when I masturbate I think of him, I try not to but I do, the idea just turns me on so much. Tell me, is there really something wrong?

- Lost, 15

Our answers
Submitted 12 Feb 05

Wrong? No, some folks are just naturally drawn to younger kids. And it's absolutely the wrong thing to run away from it, or hide and assume you are the only one. It's a matter of channeling it into reasonable outlets. Set limits for yourself. There is nothing wrong with cuddling, wrestling, little kids eat it up, they thrive on it. Try to find sex partners closer to your own age. I know, it's not the same, but you are lucky that at 15 you can get away with sex play with a willing kid 14 or maybe 13. It's called being gay and it's accepted most places as being legal.

A old friend of mine used to say that 95% of what you want to do with your special 7 year-old friend is completely legal. Enjoy and cultivate that relationship. You might be surprised how many people might assist you once you are seen as being responsible and mature about appropriate and inappropriate mentoring for a boy that age.

And I think it's vital that you stay in touch with others in similar situations and help each other in your very special friendships. Enjoy what is legal as much as you can, don't worry about yourself, and set firm limits that will keep both you and him safe. You are not a threat to him, but society certainly is. And we have no choice but to play by their rules.

Know that you are not alone, you are not a monster, you are not "wrong" in your desires, and that you can be a great value to others with your special gift. Don't go through this alone.

Cody (16)
cody@agetaboo.org

_________________________

Submitted 28 Jan 2005

I guess that's something you have to decide for yourself after discussing it with other BLs by email or chatting, or reading info about BL on the web. Some BLs think their sexuality is wrong, and want to change it. Others believe it's a part of natural human variation. I'm in the second group. I believe that like most other characteristics people have, sexuality varies a lot from person to person in terms of which gender they like (maybe both), what age they like (maybe a wide range), what race they like, what personalities they like, etc. The important thing to learn is that we're not some kind of evil monster. We can show caring and love for boys and do things that really help them.

Because we're attracted to younger boys, we have to be especially careful. There are cases where younger and older boys (or boys and men) have done sexual things when the younger person wanted it, and he wasn't harmed by it. Some even say it was good for them. But there is also the risk that the younger person will later decide it was bad, and feel he was abused. He may come to that decision on his own, or because society tells him to feel that way. There is also the possibility that he really doesn't want to do it, but he goes along with the older person because he thinks he should. There's also the possibility that he really wants to do it, and isn't harmed by it, but somebody finds out and reports it. Then both people involved are traumatized by what the police and therapists do. So it's really important to be *very* careful and not do anything that you could regret later or that could end up hurting the younger boy.

Matthew, agetaboo staff
matthews@agetaboo.org

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Submitted 27 July 2005

I have replied to a couple of postings on this forum and have noticed a very common thread of fear running through the ones submitting questions. As long as there is NO sexual contact of any kind you are not breaking the law, but be careful. Observers of the relationship may see things that are not there.

In 1990 a young lad of 10 who had lost his dad in a motor accident joined a club I was running. His mother asked me to take care of him because of the trauma over his dad. He was a very beautiful boy and it would have been very easy to seduce him. A friendship did develop and it was a very strong bond of love. He would lean across and kiss me goodnight when I dropped him back home. he would give me a big hug when we met. Nothing sexual ever happened but 7am one morning I was woken by the police banging on my door and I ended up in court charged with indecent assault on the boy.

Nothing in the boys statement made at the beginning or said by him in court suggested any assault ever took place. There was not one word anywhere to imply that one had happened. The judge in his summing up tried his best to get the jury to convict me even though there was no evidence against me. in the end I was found NOT guilty but the fact that the case happened ruined my relationship with the boy and ruined his schooling. He is a bright lad with a good brain and was heading for a good future but, and he is the one who said this, whats the point in bothering with anything someone is only going to spoil it. he left school with no exams passed and has never had a job. Both his and my life were ruined over something that did not happen but something that others assummed must have because he and I were so close.

My advise to you and anyone else attracted to young boys is simple. Look, dream, love but dont touch. even innocent touching can be taken the wrong way. Every few years I am lucky enough to meet that "special" boy. the one with a magnet for me built into him and i will do all I can to be his friend. I will support and guide him all I can. I will probably fall in love with him and if I'm lucky, he with me. No matter what I wont touch, not even in fun.

I was asked once what I would pay for sex with a young boy. It was the boy asking me. I told him that he was beautiful and that I did want him but he was so precious that no amount of money would ever be enough. his value was priceless. We became friends and that friendship has lasted eight years. He's grown up now and we are still friends.

To the young fifteen year old that started this discussion I say masterbate with your dreams as much as you like. it is totally natural. tens of thousands are doing the same thing. Be good to yourself and admit what you are to yourself. love the younger boys, be a friend to them but DONT touch. Boys have a natural beauty and allure that is hard to define and a lot of them know it. They use it to get what they want. Boy lovers are not rare. There are thousands of us and there are thousands more that wont admit it.

I went for years denying it to myself. i wish I hadn't. Now I say this I AM A BOY LOVER AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT. I WILL LOVE BOYS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I will never touch one sexually. That part I'll keep private in my room on my own and in my head.

Dont be LOST. Find yourself and enjoy your life as a natural boy lover who keeps within the boundaries set by society. Good luck. your welcome to e mail me if you think I could help in any way

Les, 59
rl12005-contact@yahoo.co.uk

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