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Very few words can describe how I feel for finding this site, but here is my attempt to help you understand.
I not only feel isolated, I am legally isolated. I have commited the crime of possession of child pornography, been convicted on a plea deal, and am now on a Sex Offender's Registry list which in turn makes me virtualy hunted by the law and vulnerable to exploitation.
I contacted no one when I violated the law, yet when a person broke into my apartment and found what I was downloading out of curiosity, in the privacy of my own home, the would-be thief was spared prosecution for being an informant and my Fifth Amendment Rights were categorically denied.
So, make no mistake about it, we are in an information war here. As a de facto conscientious objector who must practice civil disobedience I don't advocate violence, but I do advise caution in what you say, and do, and with whom you associate.
Stigma is too lacking a word for the witch-hunt on the scale just shy of a holocust we face. Our life itself is at stake.
I have been molested by my uncle/father (he was married to my mother's sister and two-timed her, so that's not a typo), "rescued" by foster care to be damaged by three behavioral health center's assumptions of guilt to exploit me as another patient experiment for their pharmaceutically-sponsered mind-altering drug abuses (that's my opinion, and I have done medical research through recognized sources while having first hand experience to the effects).
I had a few consentual young gay and bi-sexual experiences as a child, some were good others were heartbreaking and was once married for a year to an older woman while I served in the Army. During the separation from the military, I contemplated my career choices and decided to explore my sexualy through virtual means.
I'm not heartless, I do care for people, and I beleived that pornography could minmize any unintended harm I could possibly do to others. I was learning from my experiences and reflections of what happened with my dad. I guess he had good intentions, yet no real methods of expressing love for me like he wanted to show. I've long forgiven what the world seems to hold as shameful over my family lineage and I believe that with more open-mindedness like the creators of this site maybe they could learn to forgive where there is nothing to forgive.
...thank you, that was cathartic, I'm glad to get that off my chest. I'm not a monster, and neither are you all.
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